NCIS

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Ncis
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(Ziva meets Liat Tuvia, her replacement at Mossad)
Ziva: Liat is one of the most common names in Israel.
Liat: Where only the grandmothers are named Ziva.
McGee: So what brings you to D.C.?
Malachi: The cherry blossoms.
McGee: That's in the spring, actually.
Tony: I'm afraid all we have to offer in November are elections and pardoned turkeys. I really like those boots, Liat. Not speaking too fast for you, am I?
Liat: I understand. You're very, uh... tongue-in-ear.
Ziva: She means tongue-in-cheek.
Tony: Don't put words in the girl's mouth.

Malachi: Did you expect we would never "move on" after you left us?
Ziva: You left me!
Tony: Let's not get hung up on who's left, who's right and who's wrong.

Ziva: You won the marksmanship ribbon for your outfit four consecutive times. I have six.
Liat: But I'm not done, benefit of youth. See, I would expect you to look into past conduct. But you seem to only care about my abilities with a gun.
Ziva: You have a pet cat... named Bill. I happen to like cats.
Liat: Still, I feel this, uh, measuring contest would be more at home in a men's room. Don't you think?

Tony: I don't care how many degrees he has, if he's serious about assassinating Eli, he's gonna need something more than a pistol.
Ziva: Tony, it is not about the size of the gun...
Liat: It is about the will of the shooter... We will make sure they do not succeed. If necessary, we will place ourself in the line of fire.
Tony: "All someone needs is the willingness to trade his life for mine." You know, In The Line of Fire.
McGee: Kennedy said that.
Tony: Why don't you just memorize your lines and don't bump into the furniture, McBartlett. Spencer Tracy said that.

(McCallister unscrews the top of his cane)
McCallister: Damnit! I brought the wrong cane. Other cane's got the flask.
Gibbs: Hey, Riley. Where'd they dig you up? (gestures to the coffee) Keep you sharper.
McCallister: (scoffs) Please. The coffee here is weaker than a Frenchman's handshake.

Tony: Am I sensing something between the two of you?
Malachi: Nothing serious.
Tony: You haven't slept together then?
Malachi: Oh, of course we are sleeping together. It's just nothing serious.
Tony: Oh, gotta get back to Israel.

Ziva: We killed you first, Tony.
Tony: Oh, I've seen it a million times. The pretty popular girl gets jealous when the hot new transfer comes in and steals all the spotlight. Well, it's pretty much a staple of every high school movie from the seventies and eighties : Heathers, Fast Times ...
Gibbs: Who got jealous in Fast Times? God, I like Phoebe Cates.

Vance: You really screwed me here.
Eli: You think I wanted the assassins to follow me?
Vance: I think you told them where to find you.
Eli: He is a splinter in my toe, Leon. He has been for years. If I do not extract him now, it could become infected.
Vance: That's nasty, Eli.
Eli: Yet, illustrative.

(Ziva is driving and turns aggressively)
Vance: Most fathers teach their daughters how to drive. I have you to blame for this?
Eli: This she learned from her mother.

Eli: I do not have the luxury for my feelings to dictate my actions.
Ziva: You do not have any feelings.
Eli: I have no feelings? There was a time Ziva, when I was quite different. When my house was filled with the sound of children laughing. You, and Ari, and Tali.
(Ziva's eyes now full of tears.)
Eli: There was a time Ziva, yes.

Eli: Alright let's go.
Ziva: That is all you are going to say to me?
Eli: What is the point? I know this face. You made the same one when I told my brother he could not buy you a pony.
Ziva: Oh...
Eli: Ziva if you want to talk we will talk. I am not going to beg.
Ziva: Why not? You know, confronted with the prospect of your own death, another man.
Eli: A lesser man.
(Ziva slams her fist in anger)
Ziva: A human man would want to!

McGee: I got to hand it to your father, Ziva. He has who knows how many guns trained on him right now, and he is completely oblivious.
Ziva: No, he's aware. He is always aware of what he does. Not caring about the consequences is what makes him who he is.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 70 in total

NCIS Season 8 Quotes

McGee: Since when did banks become so evil?
Tony: Since about the 12th century.
(Ziva laughs)

(Tony introduces Nick Miller, the boy whole charged McGee's credit card illegally)
Tony: Tim McGee, meet Tim McGee.
Nick: 'Sup dude.
McGee: Hello. (Looks at Tony) I don't get it.
Tony: Well, Tim, there are two kinds of identity thieves. There's the kind you never know and there's the kind that knows you so well that they're aware you're not home from 7am to 10pm.
McGee (To Nick) You're Mrs Miller's kid right? Nick?
Ziva: Who is Mrs Miller?
Tony: It's McGee's landlady, holder of the keys. She also has a bad back.
Ziva: Oh.
McGee: It was you! You stole my identity, you sent me an inflatable girlfriend! You know I'm down almost ten grand!
Nick: Dude, it's fraud and you're only liable for like... fifty bucks.
Tony: Yeah dude.
McGee: (To Nick) Why? Why are you doing this to me?
Nick: You're always doing the same thing. Go to work, come home, go to work again. You even order the same take-out food every single night.
McGee: Not every night.
Nick: Dude, yes! You gotta start living. You're too young to act so old.
(McGee looks at Tony who starts laughing)
Tony: You're welcome.