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New-girl

Damn it! I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere!

Schmidt

I want to kill you...because I respect you. I think I understanding hunting!

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach

An Indian-Jewish baby? Who wouldn't want that? Think about the bone structure!

Schmidt

I'm about to go pay this fine, and my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch!

Jess

I'm like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.

Schmidt

Schmidt: Would you line up around the corner if the iPhone was called "the slippery germ brick"?
Nick: Yeah, I probably would actually.

Jess: Where are your nipples, man?
Schmidt: I'll never tell!

So when I do the chicken dance I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It's more realistic.

Jess
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