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New-girl

Damn it! I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere!

Schmidt

I want to kill you...because I respect you. I think I understanding hunting!

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach

An Indian-Jewish baby? Who wouldn't want that? Think about the bone structure!

Schmidt

I'm about to go pay this fine, and my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch!

Jess

Schmidt: Would you line up around the corner if the iPhone was called "the slippery germ brick"?
Nick: Yeah, I probably would actually.

I'm like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.

Schmidt

Jess: Where are your nipples, man?
Schmidt: I'll never tell!

He's a player. Why would a good looking person ever become a doctor?

Schmidt

Jess: Do you want to know what I'm wearing under this shirt?
Nick: Yeah, sure.
Jess: An invisible shirt.

I'm worried about Schmidt, he's a Jew in the desert I don't want him to wander.

Winston

Jess, you can't laugh at a naked man. And especially Nick. Nick is delicate. Like a flower.Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself"

Schmidt
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 519 in total

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New Girl Quotes

She's on a flip-phone. That means she's either poor, or a time traveler!

Schmidt

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
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