Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New-girl

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

You are a gynecologist and a lesbian. This makes you a vagenius.

Schmidt

She's on a flip-phone. That means she's either poor, or a time traveler!

Schmidt

I was sabotaged by my baby box, which means I will never trust anything that comes out of it.

Jess

Jess: Well, I guess I can't hide my crazy.
Nick: I don't you're trying that hard.

Prince is terrible at Frisbee.

Schmidt

CeCe, the Jewish is here to make sex.

Nadia

I hate doors!

Nick

Nick, please do not angry-fix the sink.

Schmidt

It's MY garden party, and Zachary Quinto is not on the list!

Schmidt

Schmidt: Have you ever dated two women at once?
Rabbi: What are you talking about? I went to camp. They used to call me the octopus.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 519 in total

Want more New Girl?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

New Girl Quotes

She's on a flip-phone. That means she's either poor, or a time traveler!

Schmidt

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
x Close Ad