Paul Ryan 2020.

Schmidt

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach

A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.

Schmidt

Schmidt: Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?
Jess [in a British accent]: Probably the slut butler, right!

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt

I don't know if Hogwarts is near San Diego. I've never heard of it.

Nick

The very fact that socks exist is proof shoes don't work.

Cece

Melanie Farts, signed five times.

Jess

You're a real sandwich lady and I wanna scream your name across the ocean.

Nick

Boobies. Girls with clean hair. Models eating sliders. Bernadette Peters on a high beam. Freshly baked bread.

Winston [teasing Schmidt]

Prince is terrible at Frisbee.

Schmidt

New Girl Quotes

Paul Ryan 2020.

Schmidt

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick