I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach

Cece: You know that guy I'm dating?
Schmidt: Buster, your child bride?

Sponges make me feel exhilarated.

Nick

Do you just walk around all day thinking about other people's feelings? How do you get anything done?

Schmidt

I've never been an inspiration before...I don't like this much responsibility.

Nick

Nick: I know where you live!
Jess: And I live where you live!

College Nick: You like rap music? Who's your favorite rapper.
College Schmidt: Brian Austin Green.

I saw Nick's pipi. And his bubbles

Jess

It's nice inside of here--it's like a European airport.

Coach

I needed your underwear...to sew into my underwear.

Winston

What's going on? Did you guys watch porn together again? Why do you keep doing that? It's always awkward!

Jess
New Girl quotes work incredibly well because they attempt to combine comedy and drama, ridiculousness and being totally sincere, as the six characters explore the difficulties of their late 20s and early 30s. Because they are all maturing (or struggling to) in regards to relationships and careers, this often leads to New Girl quotes that are heartfelt as well as hilarious and gives the show a unique appeal. Schmidt and Nick likely produce the funniest lines week in and week out, although all the characters have their moments.

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach