I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Jess: I have to go out tonight, 'cause I'm feeling pretty twirly.
Schmidt: Twirly? Is that like horny?
Jess: I've got the dirty twirlies, Schmitdy!"

I hate doors!

Nick

I'm a small business owner!

Nick

Are you okay to drive? You've got crazy eyes!

Nick

I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me.

Jess

Ferguson is on the elevator. Is that OK?

Regan

Welcome to hell, Miller!

Winston

Like I always say, don't call me Becky unless you're riding me like a horse.

Becky

I want magic, is that so bad?

Nick

It's good for you! It's corn!

Bob

Sam: Hi - are you Katie? I'm Sam from CupidMatch.
Jess: And I'm the girl from my dreams of you.

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Jess: I have to go out tonight, 'cause I'm feeling pretty twirly.
Schmidt: Twirly? Is that like horny?
Jess: I've got the dirty twirlies, Schmitdy!"