I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.

Schmidt

Schmidt: Ahh! A spider!
Nick: Jess, why did you do that? You know how he gets, he turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.

Cece: You know that guy I'm dating?
Schmidt: Buster, your child bride?

Sponges make me feel exhilarated.

Nick

Do you just walk around all day thinking about other people's feelings? How do you get anything done?

Schmidt

Nick, I need you.

Jess

Waitress: You're all on a date?
Nick: Yeah, we're her boyfriends. We're reverse Mormons - one guy just isn't enough for her.

You were so light and charming you were like Pixar Winston.

Schmidt

Benjamin [referring to Jess]: Are you hitting that?
Schmidt: What? No!
Benjamin: Then I think I'll help myself...to sex with your friend.

Winston: Where are your eyes?
Students: On the tiger.

Cease lovemaking! All lovemaking must cease!

Schmidt
New Girl quotes work incredibly well because they attempt to combine comedy and drama, ridiculousness and being totally sincere, as the six characters explore the difficulties of their late 20s and early 30s. Because they are all maturing (or struggling to) in regards to relationships and careers, this often leads to New Girl quotes that are heartfelt as well as hilarious and gives the show a unique appeal. Schmidt and Nick likely produce the funniest lines week in and week out, although all the characters have their moments.

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.

Schmidt