Yea! He has me...and our baby! And our other baby!

Jess

Nick: Jess, you know I don't dance.
Jess: Oh but you didn't know I do this. I'm mime walking. I'm Mime-chael Jackson.

Sum up the last two years? The country's broke. Betty White came back.

Schmidt

Schmidt: Just suck in your gut
Nick: What gut?
Jess: The little pooch where you keep your extra cookies.

Nick: Get out, Schmidt.
Schmidt: I'm the only one who hasn't seen it!

Believe it or not, that's not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.

Jess

Jess, you can't laugh at a naked man. And especially Nick. Nick is delicate. Like a flower.Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself"

Schmidt

Rochelle? Fancy name. 'Rochelle', like a mermaid.

Jess

I saw Nick's pipi. And his bubbles

Jess

They found another black guy. "Labak Melno Virich". Means a better black guy.

Winston

Jess: Who's that girl? It's Jess.
Nick: Did you just make up a theme song for yourself?

Pink wine makes me slutty.

Jess

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Nick isn't even a man. He's some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day, I had to tell him not to pull a dog's tail.

Jess