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New-girl

Yea! He has me...and our baby! And our other baby!

Jess

Nick: Jess, you know I don't dance.
Jess: Oh but you didn't know I do this. I'm mime walking. I'm Mime-chael Jackson.

Sum up the last two years? The country's broke. Betty White came back.

Schmidt

Schmidt: Just suck in your gut
Nick: What gut?
Jess: The little pooch where you keep your extra cookies.

Nick: Get out, Schmidt.
Schmidt: I'm the only one who hasn't seen it!

Believe it or not, that's not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.

Jess

So when I do the chicken dance I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It's more realistic.

Jess

I was going for like a hot farmer's daughter kind of thing, like, oh, I'm gonna go milk my cows.

Jess

They found another black guy. "Labak Melno Virich". Means a better black guy.

Winston

I saw Nick's pipi. And his bubbles

Jess

Jess: $550 for the TV?! Seems a little steep. I'm gonna write down a figure, and this is as high as I'll go.
Pawnshop dude: You drew a smiley face.

Did you see the JWOWW retweet of the Gaga twitpic?

Female interviewer
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 525 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
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