You have the focus of a coked up Italian on a summer day!

Schmidt

Who am I supposed to go to for lady advice now?

Winston

You don't need Jess's bowl of advice, Winston.

Cece

I'm a business guy first and a sex guy second.

Nick

We gonna make a girl cry today!

Winston

If I can't have a kid with a woman, then maybe I'll have one with my cousin.

Nick

I may or may not have done an extensive amount of research on wedding dresses.

Winston

You're my best friend in the whole world. We've been through a lot together so I just do feel like your sperm are partly my sperm.

Schmidt

Why are you putting spoons in the laundry hamper?

Schmidt

Nick: I'm trying my hardest to look poor.
Winston: You are poor.

They're reaching into your skin wallet. Your scrotum.

Schmidt

It's good for you! It's corn!

Bob

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt