On a plus side, I'm being very witty during this fight.

Nick

Schmidt: Oh good lord! I'm marrying Nick.
Jess: Duh.

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Nick: I'm very focused.
Schmidt: You're not even looking at me right now.
Nick: I though I saw something shiny.

What? You don't think I can be supportive?

Cece

I'm not willing to turn our home into a public pool.

Schmidt

You have the focus of a coked up Italian on a summer day!

Schmidt

Who am I supposed to go to for lady advice now?

Winston

You don't need Jess's bowl of advice, Winston.

Cece

I'm a business guy first and a sex guy second.

Nick

We gonna make a girl cry today!

Winston

I may have your entire life planned out on my computer. I made a spreadsheet and everything. I worked on it this morning.

Schmidt

If I can't have a kid with a woman, then maybe I'll have one with my cousin.

Nick

New Girl Quotes

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick