I said chill day in, but did I mean it?

Jess

Welcome to your bachelorette party 2.0.

Jess

The very fact that socks exist is proof shoes don't work.

Cece

It's like my hearing is what a dog hears.

Jess

I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.

Jess

I know you're not a stripper, but is there any way you can take your short pants off?

Jess

I want to thank everyone for an amazing dinner. Special shout out to Winston for a shockingly good toast.

Jess

What is this? The last night of drama camp?

Jess

Nick: Dude, Schmidt lost his vows.
Winston: For the wedding?
Schmidt: No. Different vows.
Winston: Oh, then what's the big deal?
Schmidt: What is wrong with you people?

We're gonna play True American because I want to. I'm using my bride card!

Cece

Everyone has had sex in my room!

Jess

Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.

Jess

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt