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Cece: You know that guy I'm dating?
Schmidt: Buster, your child bride?

It's MY garden party, and Zachary Quinto is not on the list!


You don't like lakes, I don't like space! It's okay!


You would not know a sex blink if it blinked you in the sex!


There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson--I lost a bet to Schmidt.


Boob season's over, for you!


Nick: I know where you live!
Jess: And I live where you live!

What's up, Coach? You have so many sweatpants! You need to buy normal pants!


Jess: Nick calls birds 'wind-mice.' Nick says 'yahtzee' when he climaxes. He calls turtles 'shell-beavers.'
Nick: Well, that's what they should be called.

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