The very fact that socks exist is proof shoes don't work.

Cece

It's like my hearing is what a dog hears.

Jess

I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.

Jess

I know you're not a stripper, but is there any way you can take your short pants off?

Jess

I want to thank everyone for an amazing dinner. Special shout out to Winston for a shockingly good toast.

Jess

What is this? The last night of drama camp?

Jess

Nick: Dude, Schmidt lost his vows.
Winston: For the wedding?
Schmidt: No. Different vows.
Winston: Oh, then what's the big deal?
Schmidt: What is wrong with you people?

We're gonna play True American because I want to. I'm using my bride card!

Cece

Everyone has had sex in my room!

Jess

Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.

Jess

I'm flying to Portent to try to get Cece's mom to come to the wedding.

Schmidt

I know you're a terrible liar, but I need you to lie to Cece.

Schmidt

New Girl Quotes

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick