I can't let you fluff me. I can't let you work in emotional porn! You have too much to offer.

Jess [to Nick]

• Permalink: I can't let you fluff me. I can't let you work in emotional porn...
• Added: October 02, 2012

This isn't a sex thing, is it? Because I can't build a dresser and pleasure a woman at the same time. I'm not God.

Sam

• Permalink: This isn't a sex thing, is it? Because I can't build a dresser a...
• Added: October 02, 2012

Nick: You can't separate your feelings from sex? So what? You're a girl!
Jess: I deserve to have a shorty on the side!

• Permalink: You can't separate your feelings from sex? So what? You're a gir...
• Added: October 02, 2012

Winston, you've been staring at this girl for 5 minutes. Please tell me you're checking her out, otherwise you're a serial killer, which would explain a lot.

Schmidt

• Permalink: Winston, you've been staring at this girl for 5 minutes. Please ...
• Added: October 02, 2012

Jess: I don't want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?
Nick: Yeah, sure. I'm not doing anything today.

• Permalink: I don't want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during in...
• Added: October 02, 2012

Winston: You, my friend, have become her fluffer.
Nick: Like in porn?
Winston: Her emotional fluffer!

• Permalink: You, my friend, have become her fluffer. Like in porn? Her e...
• Added: October 02, 2012