Nick: Jess, you know I don't dance.
Jess: Oh but you didn't know I do this. I'm mime walking. I'm Mime-chael Jackson.

• Permalink: Jess, you know I don't dance. Oh but you didn't know I do this...
• Added: October 04, 2011

Yea! He has me...and our baby! And our other baby!

Jess

• Permalink: Yea! He has me...and our baby! And our other baby!
• Added: October 04, 2011

So what I need you to do is this. I need you to put vodka in a water bottle, ok? Then rendezvous with me in the restroom.

Schmidt

• Permalink: So what I need you to do is this. I need you to put vodka in a w...
• Added: October 04, 2011

We just started dating so were still in that honeymoon phase. I barely sleep. So much doing it.

Jess

• Permalink: We just started dating so were still in that honeymoon phase. I ...
• Added: October 04, 2011

He's so soft, like a towel.

Jess

• Permalink: He's so soft, like a towel.
• Added: October 04, 2011

No teeth! You can't use prop teeth!

Nick

• Permalink: No teeth! You can't use prop teeth!
• Added: October 04, 2011

Schmidt: We don't want to be mean, we just don't want you to be yourself...in any way.
Jess: Okay. Suppress the Jess. Got it.

• Permalink: We don't want to be mean, we just don't want you to be yourself....
• Added: October 04, 2011

I really just want to get in there and ush this wedding in the face!

Winston

• Permalink: I really just want to get in there and ush this wedding in the f...
• Added: October 04, 2011

Schmidt: Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?
Jess [in a British accent]: Probably the slut butler, right!

• Permalink: Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house? Probably the slu...
• Added: October 04, 2011

So when I do the chicken dance I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It's more realistic.

Jess

• Permalink: So when I do the chicken dance I do it a little differently. Ins...
• Added: October 04, 2011