Nick: Dude, Schmidt lost his vows.
Winston: For the wedding?
Schmidt: No. Different vows.
Winston: Oh, then what's the big deal?
Schmidt: What is wrong with you people?

What is this? The last night of drama camp?

Jess

I want to thank everyone for an amazing dinner. Special shout out to Winston for a shockingly good toast.

Jess

I know you're not a stripper, but is there any way you can take your short pants off?

Jess

I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.

Jess

It's like my hearing is what a dog hears.

Jess

The very fact that socks exist is proof shoes don't work.

Cece

Welcome to your bachelorette party 2.0.

Jess

I said chill day in, but did I mean it?

Jess

Ever since I've known you, you've been there. OK. You're always there. Even when I don't want you there, you're there. That's what a husband does. You fight for me. Thats what a husband does. You care about what I eat. That's what a husband does. You've cooked for me even when I don't ask. That's what a husband does. When I pass out you comb my hair so there's no knots in it. That's what a husband does. So guess what? You're gonna be a great husband to Cece cause you're a great husband to me.

Nick

A lot of people don't know this, but Aly's full name is Alyson.

Winston

Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!

Schmidt

New Girl Quotes

You know what they call Seattle in Portland? North Portland. Or Vancouver's shoe.

Jess

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick