New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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Over the next 1,000 minutes, your notions of dating will be challenged. ... If you're saying things like 'Dreamy Eyes' to my face, then we have more work to do than the Kings of Leon. Good band, but it feels like they are stuck in one place musically.

Schmidt

If pot were a piano, Nick would be a 9-year-old Chinese girl.

Schmidt

Now, I'm gonna go do a deep-ass mouthwash.

Schmidt

He looked nice in the picture! The frame cut off the bottom of his beard, so how was I to know it was braided into a beardy-tail? He asked me to the food court near his house; I thought that was down-to-earth, and I like that. He didn't bring any money, so we had to go back to his apartment, and also he wanted to show me some of his old baby clothes.

Jess

"Hubba, hubba, mama in trubba."

Jess

I know I'm gullible because a lot of people tell me that and I have no reason not to believe them.

Jess

Them's joint bank account eyes.

Jess

Where did all that hair come from? You're a lioness!

Schmidt

First order of business, we eat their food.

Nick

I am rugged, semtic prince!

Schmidt

Just be yourself, and if he’s not into Jessica Day, there’s something wrong with him.

Nick

Kat: Here are the facts: I’m technically a genius, I have a photographic memory, and I lost my virginity to Malcolm Gladwell.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 547 in total

New Girl Quotes

It's a sexy place Jess, look at the CPR poster.

Coach

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach
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