Just because a scary man yelled his name in your face doesn't mean you can't like sake baths.

Cece

Is this change of plans an overreaction to something?

Jess

I don't understand. Is Toby your name?

Schmidt

You show up sick, you might as well be dead.

Schmidt

Jess: Nick, are you eating raisins from my purse? I confiscated those from a kid.
Nick: That explains why they're so sticky. Sticky Nicky eats anything and I don't get sick.

I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer.

Nick

I'd give you a hug, but my shirt smells pretty weird today.

Nick

Jess: I just want to say I'm honored you're trusting me.
Schmidt: Oh, I'm not.

Jess: Sometimes I think I was bred in a lab to help people.
Winston: You know what else they bred in a lab? Pugs.

Oh my god, I'm going to be friends with a gas celebrity.

Jess

She lulled me to sleep and then she went rouge.

Schmidt

This looks like an ad for a bong making company.

Jess

New Girl Quotes

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick