New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

If you feel things getting sexual say, "shut it down!"

Jess

Sponges make me feel exhilarated.

Nick

Officer, can I read you your rights? You have the right to remain hugged. And you have the right to remain sweet.

Coach

Jess: Are you insane, Schmidt? I'm not ready. That's like taking a musical from rehearsal straight to Broadway. You gotta workshop it first!
Schmidt: If you are for one second suggesting that I don't know how to open a musical, how dare you!

The point of dating is just... to keep on dating and then never stop—like burning fossil fuels or seeing a therapist.

Schmidt

Do you just walk around all day thinking about other people's feelings? How do you get anything done?

Schmidt

Over the next 1,000 minutes, your notions of dating will be challenged. ... If you're saying things like 'Dreamy Eyes' to my face, then we have more work to do than the Kings of Leon. Good band, but it feels like they are stuck in one place musically.

Schmidt

If pot were a piano, Nick would be a 9-year-old Chinese girl.

Schmidt

Now, I'm gonna go do a deep-ass mouthwash.

Schmidt

He looked nice in the picture! The frame cut off the bottom of his beard, so how was I to know it was braided into a beardy-tail? He asked me to the food court near his house; I thought that was down-to-earth, and I like that. He didn't bring any money, so we had to go back to his apartment, and also he wanted to show me some of his old baby clothes.

Jess

"Hubba, hubba, mama in trubba."

Jess

I know I'm gullible because a lot of people tell me that and I have no reason not to believe them.

Jess
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 553 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach