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Jess: Where are you guys going?
Biology Teacher: In life, nowhere.
- Permalink: In life, nowhere.
Your asses belong to me now, which means I currently have four asses.Coach
- Permalink: Your asses belong to me now, which means I currently have four asses.
Nobody's getting pregnant tonight!...That's the same thing I say on my dates.Winston
I'm like a Hebrew cheetah.Schmidt
- Permalink: I'm like a Hebrew cheetah.
Nick: My arms are so sore from doing so many push-ups.
Schmidt: That seems like a lie.
- Permalink: That seems like a lie.
Well, this just in, the dress code for Winston's banquet tonight is...optional.Schmidt
Jess: Nick calls birds 'wind-mice.' Nick says 'yahtzee' when he climaxes. He calls turtles 'shell-beavers.'
Nick: Well, that's what they should be called.
- Permalink: Well, that's what they should be called.
What's up, Coach? You have so many sweatpants! You need to buy normal pants!Jess
Nick: I know where you live!
Jess: And I live where you live!
- Permalink: And I live where you live!
Boob season's over, for you!Jess
- Permalink: Boob season's over, for you!
There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson--I lost a bet to Schmidt.Nick
You would not know a sex blink if it blinked you in the sex!Schmidt
- Permalink: You would not know a sex blink if it blinked you in the sex!