I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.

Jess

It's like my hearing is what a dog hears.

Jess

The very fact that socks exist is proof shoes don't work.

Cece

Welcome to your bachelorette party 2.0.

Jess

I said chill day in, but did I mean it?

Jess

Ever since I've known you, you've been there. OK. You're always there. Even when I don't want you there, you're there. That's what a husband does. You fight for me. Thats what a husband does. You care about what I eat. That's what a husband does. You've cooked for me even when I don't ask. That's what a husband does. When I pass out you comb my hair so there's no knots in it. That's what a husband does. So guess what? You're gonna be a great husband to Cece cause you're a great husband to me.

Nick

A lot of people don't know this, but Aly's full name is Alyson.

Winston

Beans are nothing but soggy nuts!

Schmidt

That's too much whisky for my frame.

Winston

Nick: What does a man do about that pain?
Schmidt: Takes a bubble bath.

You got hurt on a hog man!

Nick

Just because a scary man yelled his name in your face doesn't mean you can't like sake baths.

Cece

New Girl Quotes

A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.

Schmidt

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick