Now, I'm gonna go do a deep-ass mouthwash.

Schmidt

He looked nice in the picture! The frame cut off the bottom of his beard, so how was I to know it was braided into a beardy-tail? He asked me to the food court near his house; I thought that was down-to-earth, and I like that. He didn't bring any money, so we had to go back to his apartment, and also he wanted to show me some of his old baby clothes.

Jess

"Hubba, hubba, mama in trubba."

Jess

I know I'm gullible because a lot of people tell me that and I have no reason not to believe them.

Jess

Them's joint bank account eyes.

Jess

Where did all that hair come from? You're a lioness!

Schmidt

First order of business, we eat their food.

Nick

I am rugged, semtic prince!

Schmidt

Just be yourself, and if he’s not into Jessica Day, there’s something wrong with him.

Nick

Kat: Here are the facts: I’m technically a genius, I have a photographic memory, and I lost my virginity to Malcolm Gladwell.

The only think I want in my mouth is Mr. and Mrs. Ibuprofen, minus the Mister.

Winston

When did one on one sex become old fashioned?

Nick

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Nick isn't even a man. He's some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day, I had to tell him not to pull a dog's tail.

Jess