Nick: Unlike you Schmidt, I don't just throw my money at problems!
Schmidt: All I'm hearing is I can't use my bathroom because you're poor.

Yea I put your couch and your freezer in your room. I didn't want to get my poor on them.

Nick

I'm losing my mind guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.

Winston

Jess: I just need you to not do that thing you do.
Nick: What thing? I don't do a thing.
Jess: Yes, you get all mean and you make that little turtle face!

Jess: No! He's here early, how do I look?
Schmidt: It's better if you don't know.

Schmidt: I wanna let you know up front that I have some control issues in the kitchen. So if I'm gonna do this, I'm cooking the whole meal. I don't want you touching anything. And I don't want to hear Schmidt, Schmidt, you're using too much tarragon.
Jess: You will never hear that from me!

Schmidt: Here's another tip, don't ask a guy out on a first date, on the least sexy holiday in America.
Jess: What are the sexiest holidays in America?
Schmidt: The most sexy holidays are the 4th of July, Independence day obviously. Women's history month, and Christmas.

Are we gonna be able to hang with Paul, or is he also a teacher?

Winston

Schmidt: It's our thing, Jess. Dudesgiving.
Nick: Okay no matter how many emails you send, that's not real.
Schmidt: It's real, man!
Nick: It's not real! We're not calling it that.

Nick: We're just gonna watch football, drink beer, and then we're going to Best Buy later for Black Friday.
Winston: Or as I like to call it, Friday.

Jess: What you doing for Thanksgiving?
Paul: Well I always spend it with my Grandmother, but -
Jess: That's so nice!
Paul: She just died.

Oh my God, there's two of them!

Nick

New Girl Quotes

You question my pajamas? You make me question our entire friendship!

Jess

Do not challenge me to a sex stand-off. I can channel all of my sexual energy into knitting. How do you think I made it through high school?

Jess