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It smells like leather and Teddy Roosevelt and wistfulness.


Schmidt: Do you think it's a superhero?
Nick: No, I think it's Jess and some weird guy.

You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost!


I would have lasted two seconds in the court of the sun king. I think about that all the time.


Jess: I'll raise the money myself! I'll get a ragtag group of kids together. An orphan, a lost soul, a Jewish kid with a keyboard, a little slut who can dance, and one fatso!
Tanya: You already did that Jess. It was the spring musical, and it brought in literally $60.

Jess: You've always wanted a thing, so maybe this is your thing. The guy with no phone.
Nick: But who is that guy!?

Do you have like a box of charity phones you're sending to Africa? Can he just have one of those?


He smells of strong coffee and going to see a man about a horse.


I'm gonna have to run all the way home, and I have my slipperiest loafers on!

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