Cece's really vulnerable right now. When she's drunk, she has no boundaries. She's really grabby, really physical, she's really loose with her body. So I just wanna apologize in advance for anything she might do.

Jess

Winston: What is between you and that chair?
Schmidt: Just a little bit of sunshine.

Cece: I really felt that Gavin was different. Didn't you feel like Gavin was different?
Jess: Yea, I mean he seemed like a really nice...European DJ with a face tattoo.

Gavin: This is my favorite Deep V!
Jess: It's just a deeper V!

Nick: Just stop being so nice!
Jess: Your mother's being so nice.
Nick: Slam on my mother.
Jess: Your mother's gonna slam on your mother.

Jess: I don't need any help! Nick and I are friends. You don't know cause you don't have guy friends. You just hang out with jerks like Gavin. Or, I'm sorry DJ Dia-beatit.
Cece: He has diabetes.
Jess: He does? Boohoo! I'm sorry. Is it bad? Cause I feel really bad.
Cece: He's fine, he takes medication.

I'm not like you! I don't just jump in the potato sack, with the first potato that I meet with diabetes!

Jess

They found another black guy. "Labak Melno Virich". Means a better black guy.

Winston

I saw Nick's pipi. And his bubbles

Jess

Did you see the JWOWW retweet of the Gaga twitpic?

Female interviewer

Jess, you can't laugh at a naked man. And especially Nick. Nick is delicate. Like a flower.Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself"

Schmidt

Believe it or not, that's not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.

Jess

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach