New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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Jess: I don't need any help! Nick and I are friends. You don't know cause you don't have guy friends. You just hang out with jerks like Gavin. Or, I'm sorry DJ Dia-beatit.
Cece: He has diabetes.
Jess: He does? Boohoo! I'm sorry. Is it bad? Cause I feel really bad.
Cece: He's fine, he takes medication.

I'm not like you! I don't just jump in the potato sack, with the first potato that I meet with diabetes!

Jess

They found another black guy. "Labak Melno Virich". Means a better black guy.

Winston

I saw Nick's pipi. And his bubbles

Jess

Did you see the JWOWW retweet of the Gaga twitpic?

Female interviewer

Jess, you can't laugh at a naked man. And especially Nick. Nick is delicate. Like a flower.Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself"

Schmidt

Believe it or not, that's not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.

Jess

Nick: Get out, Schmidt.
Schmidt: I'm the only one who hasn't seen it!

Schmidt: Just suck in your gut
Nick: What gut?
Jess: The little pooch where you keep your extra cookies.

Sum up the last two years? The country's broke. Betty White came back.

Schmidt

Nick: Jess, you know I don't dance.
Jess: Oh but you didn't know I do this. I'm mime walking. I'm Mime-chael Jackson.

Yea! He has me...and our baby! And our other baby!

Jess
Displaying quotes 517 - 528 of 553 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach