Schmidt: Here's another tip, don't ask a guy out on a first date, on the least sexy holiday in America.
Jess: What are the sexiest holidays in America?
Schmidt: The most sexy holidays are the 4th of July, Independence day obviously. Women's history month, and Christmas.

Are we gonna be able to hang with Paul, or is he also a teacher?

Winston

Schmidt: It's our thing, Jess. Dudesgiving.
Nick: Okay no matter how many emails you send, that's not real.
Schmidt: It's real, man!
Nick: It's not real! We're not calling it that.

Nick: We're just gonna watch football, drink beer, and then we're going to Best Buy later for Black Friday.
Winston: Or as I like to call it, Friday.

Jess: What you doing for Thanksgiving?
Paul: Well I always spend it with my Grandmother, but -
Jess: That's so nice!
Paul: She just died.

Oh my God, there's two of them!

Nick

Well I can blanch or I can talk but I can't do both!

Schmidt

You tell anyone we held hands, I have 2 people in my phone who will kill you.

Cece

Cece's really vulnerable right now. When she's drunk, she has no boundaries. She's really grabby, really physical, she's really loose with her body. So I just wanna apologize in advance for anything she might do.

Jess

Winston: What is between you and that chair?
Schmidt: Just a little bit of sunshine.

Cece: I really felt that Gavin was different. Didn't you feel like Gavin was different?
Jess: Yea, I mean he seemed like a really nice...European DJ with a face tattoo.

Gavin: This is my favorite Deep V!
Jess: It's just a deeper V!

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Paul Ryan 2020.

Schmidt