New Girl

New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX

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Season: 2 1

New Girl Season 1 Quotes (Page 7)

Season 1 Episode 7: "Bells"

Nick: Do you know what this is Schmidt?
Schmidt: Yea, DOY, it's a SCISSOR...Yeah a scissor that you just threw in the TURDLET.
 • Rating: 3.3 / 5.0
Winston: Eye of the Tiger ended the cold war.
Jess: That's not even a little bit true.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: Lotus Bear Relax! I can smell it on you right now!
Nick: Stop smelling my hair!
Schmidt: You know how much that stuff cost?
Nick: I didn't use your conditioner!
Schmidt: Why does your hair look so baby soft?!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Nick: Unlike you Schmidt, I don't just throw my money at problems!
Schmidt: All I'm hearing is I can't use my bathroom because you're poor.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Nick: Yea I put your couch and your freezer in your room. I didn't want to get my poor on them.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Winston: I'm losing my mind guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 6: "Thanksgiving"

Jess: I just need you to not do that thing you do.
Nick: What thing? I don't do a thing.
Jess: Yes, you get all mean and you make that little turtle face!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Jess: No! He's here early, how do I look?
Schmidt: It's better if you don't know.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: I wanna let you know up front that I have some control issues in the kitchen. So if I'm gonna do this, I'm cooking the whole meal. I don't want you touching anything. And I don't want to hear Schmidt, Schmidt, you're using too much tarragon.
Jess: You will never hear that from me!
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0
Schmidt: Here's another tip, don't ask a guy out on a first date, on the least sexy holiday in America.
Jess: What are the sexiest holidays in America?
Schmidt: The most sexy holidays are the 4th of July, Independence day obviously. Women's history month, and Christmas.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Winston: Are we gonna be able to hang with Paul, or is he also a teacher?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: It's our thing, Jess. Dudesgiving.
Nick: Okay no matter how many emails you send, that's not real.
Schmidt: It's real, man!
Nick: It's not real! We're not calling it that.
 • Rating: 2.3 / 5.0
Nick: We're just gonna watch football, drink beer, and then we're going to Best Buy later for Black Friday.
Winston: Or as I like to call it, Friday.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jess: What you doing for Thanksgiving?
Paul: Well I always spend it with my Grandmother, but -
Jess: That's so nice!
Paul: She just died.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Nick: Oh my God, there's two of them!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: Well I can blanch or I can talk but I can't do both!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 5: "Cece Crashes"

Cece: You tell anyone we held hands, I have 2 people in my phone who will kill you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jess: Cece's really vulnerable right now. When she's drunk, she has no boundaries. She's really grabby, really physical, she's really loose with her body. So I just wanna apologize in advance for anything she might do.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Winston: What is between you and that chair?
Schmidt: Just a little bit of sunshine.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Cece: I really felt that Gavin was different. Didn't you feel like Gavin was different?
Jess: Yea, I mean he seemed like a really nice...European DJ with a face tattoo.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

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Season: 2 1
Total Season 1 Quotes: 179
Total New Girl Quotes: 372
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