New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXNew Girl Season 2 Quotes
You are a gynecologist and a lesbian. This makes you a vagenius.
Schmidt
I feel like our bodies really made something. Like we brought manufacturing jobs back to America.
Schmidt
Melissa: I'm 32 by my eggs are 48 and my vagina is 97.
Sadie: And it gets better with age. It's like the vagina Helen Mirin.
What are you going to do for 20 minutes of foreplay? Boring! Yawn! Am I right, ladies?
Nick
Jess: What's the secret?
Sadie: It's about love, understanding and two sets of boobs!
Schmidt: Look at that plating. It is impeccable.
Big Schmidt: Nice squeeze bottle work there, Bobby Flay.
Schmidt: He is still relevant!
Big Schmidt: Where? Phoenix?
Bob: No, no, no. It was my mistake. I'll wait five hours and come back when Joan's shift is up.
Joan: Bob, just stay! What if we need something ruined?
Jess: Mom!
Bob: It's all right. I'll spend my holiday at a Los Angeles coffee shop, sitting around with people who have nothing better to do on Thanksgiving than work on their screenplay. I probably won't want to blow my head off.
Jess: I just want to warn you guys that my mom's a little bit perky.
Winston: Wait, you think she's perky?
Jess: Well, she doesn't have my dark side. I got that from my dad.
You're getting your scent all over my pillow. It took me months to get rid of that heavenly curry smell.
Schmidt [to Cece]
Jess: Now, if you'll excuse me gentleman, I'm going to go get a job — like it's my...
Schmidt: Job?
Jess: SHUT UP!
If any of you cross me, I'm gonna kick the testicles clean off your bodies! Clean off! You'll look like Ken dolls down there!
Jess
Somehow, I got on that woman's cycle of menstruation. And I got that menstruation inside of me!
Winston
