Cece: You look like a character from The Love Guru.
Schmidt: Aw, thank you.

It was firm but tender. I saw through space and time for a moment, but that's not the point.


I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me.


Nick, we will talk about this in the morning. But, first, I'm gonna go do stuff with a girl


Schmidt: I don't really know what that accent is.
CeCe: English.
Schmidt: I speak English. That isn't English.

What is the big deal? Let's just suck it up and French a little.

Jess [to Nick]

Holly, he's really happy! He's got a 401K and a six-pack!


Nick: You never listen to pipe talk.
Jess: Pipe talk is boring.

Nick, I need you.


Nick: Band of Brothers!
Schmidt: Your friendship means nothing to me. Every man for himself!

Schmidt: I'm gonna have sex tonight. Are you two in?
Winston: Is that the way you wanted to say that?

Dammit! Been trying to get something going with myself for a full hour. It's like a taffy pole on a hot summer's day.


New Girl Season 2 Quotes

I panicked and I grabbed the hat. I should have grabbed the yoyo or the slap bracelet and now all I have is this stupid hat.


Jess: I thought we talked about you not wearing your shower diaper in the kitchen!
Schmidt: Excuse me? Do you think this has been easy? To wash myself wearing a penis cast all summer?