New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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And it was you, not Keaton, who told me that women aren't attracted to men who wear maternity pants?

Schmidt

My mom? You're going to tell me that my mom helped me with my public erections? I drew pictures!

Schmidt

I just got a treat, too. It's not candy. I'm not a dumb little baby like you.

Schmidt

Enjoy the break-up. If you need me, I'll be in my room, listening to some mainstream hip-hop.

Schmidt

Cease lovemaking! All lovemaking must cease!

Schmidt

Human dental dam!

Schmidt

She's older--MUCH older--DEEPLY Korean.

Schmidt

Tough time in Schmidtsburgh.

Schmidt

Let's talk about it, in my perfect two-thirds replica of Don Draper's office.

Schmidt

Schmidt: No sig oths.
Cece: Just say "significant others."
Schmidt: Maybe you have that kind of time, but I'm on a tight sched.

I wouldn't even begin to know how to steal a swag.

Schmidt

Look at this puzzle. It's "ages 6 and up." You are "up," Winston. You are very "up."

Schmidt
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 31 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.

Schmidt