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New-girl

My mom? You're going to tell me that my mom helped me with my public erections? I drew pictures!

Schmidt

And it was you, not Keaton, who told me that women aren't attracted to men who wear maternity pants?

Schmidt

Where have you been? I am having a major life crisis, and you guys are, what, just driving around, French kissing each other like a couple of Dutch hookers?

Schmidt

Look at this puzzle. It's "ages 6 and up." You are "up," Winston. You are very "up."

Schmidt

Schmidt: No sig oths.
Cece: Just say "significant others."
Schmidt: Maybe you have that kind of time, but I'm on a tight sched.

Let's talk about it, in my perfect two-thirds replica of Don Draper's office.

Schmidt

Tough time in Schmidtsburgh.

Schmidt
Displaying quotes 25 - 31 of 31 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I know I'm gullible because a lot of people tell me that and I have no reason not to believe them.

Jess
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