Burquas isn't you guys, is it?

Jess

• Permalink: Burqua's isn't you guys, is it?
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Jess: This is where Nick Miller grew up.
Nick: Except for the fall of '88 and the spring of '89--that was our "van year."

• Permalink: This is where Nick Miller grew up. Except for the fall of '88 ...
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Ten years? You guys are like Bert and Ernie.

Jess

• Permalink: Ten years? You guys are like Bert and Ernie.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Why are you talking to me like a James Taylor song?

Jess

• Permalink: Why are you talking to me like a James Taylor song?
• Rating: Unrated

Winston: Schmidt, you can't move out! Who's gonna do my fades?!
Jess: Yeah, who's gonna do his fades?!

• Permalink: Schmidt, you can't move out! Who's gonna do my fades?! Yeah, w...
• Rating: Unrated

Schmidt, you stole my toothpaste while I was using it. That's vindictive.

Jess

• Permalink: Schmidt, you stole my toothpaste while I was using it. That's vindictive.
• Rating: Unrated

Jess: What's next? What do we do?
Nick: I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.

• Permalink: What's next? What do we do? I'm really fighting the urge to bu...
• Rating: Unrated

Jess: How many times a day does Schmidt text you?
Nick: Oh, no, just like...40.

• Permalink: How many times a day does Schmidt text you? Oh, no, just like....
• Rating: Unrated

I'm having a party tonight and I can't have him lying on the couch, wiping his tears with deli meat.

Jess

• Permalink: I'm having a party tonight and I can't have him lying on the cou...
• Rating: Unrated

Nick: You know so many "Spaceballs" quotes.
Jess: They jammed the radar with literal jam!

• Permalink: You know so many Spaceballs quotes. They jammed the radar with...
• Rating: Unrated

I call it a "Temple Grandin," because it makes me friendly and compassionate.

Jess

• Permalink: I call it a "Temple Grandin," because it makes me friendly and compassionate.
• Rating: Unrated