New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXPopular New Girl Zooey Deschanel Quotes
I am throwing Cece's surprise bachelorette party here tonight, and the only males invited are strippers, so oil up or get out, guys.
Jess
Jess: If we're all really honest with ourselves, isn't it all about the gonads? Am I right, ladies?
Ladies: No!
You question my pajamas? You make me question our entire friendship!
Jess
So, would you like to freak?
Jess
Jess: The only anti-depressant you need is in my pants!
Guy: It's really a medical issue.
Life's messy. It kicks you in the ass. That's right, I said ass.
Jess
Burquas isn't you guys, is it?
Jess
I don't think the badger's actually rabid, I think he's just kind of a dick.
Jess
Jess: What's next? What do we do?
Nick: I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.
Jess: How many times a day does Schmidt text you?
Nick: Oh, no, just like...40.
Jess: Oh my god! I thought he was taking you to jail!
Nick: Naw, it's resort jail, and it's not so bad. They let me watch "Ugly Betty."
Why are you talking to me like a James Taylor song?
Jess