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New-girl

Jess: The only anti-depressant you need is in my pants!
Guy: It's really a medical issue.

So, would you like to freak?

Jess

You question my pajamas? You make me question our entire friendship!

Jess

Jess: If we're all really honest with ourselves, isn't it all about the gonads? Am I right, ladies?
Ladies: No!

I am throwing Cece's surprise bachelorette party here tonight, and the only males invited are strippers, so oil up or get out, guys.

Jess

Why are you wearing a suit? Did you just apply for a loan or somethng?

Jess

Jess: I didn't really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.
Nick: That's all there is to know.

Jess: This is where Nick Miller grew up.
Nick: Except for the fall of '88 and the spring of '89--that was our "van year."

When did you become a Bond villain who can't afford to not live with roommates?

Jess
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