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Most meth-heads I know don't coach little league soccer.

Jim

I can prosecute this from my Lay-Z-Boy.

George

Stephanie: Speaking of friends with boundary issues.
Jim: Hello, George.

Holy frack!

Katie

If we had kids do you think they would have superpowers? Because the terrible twos would be terribler with telekinesis.

Katie

Stephanie: I'm gonna throw you and engagement party. It's what Batman would do for Robin.
Katie: Stephanie, you're the best. Though I'm pretty sure Robin is a confirmed bachelor, if you know what I mean.

I think it was Professor Plum with the lead pipe in the library.

Daphne

If I have to choose a 'ship' right now, it's not a friendship or a relationship. It's a scholarship.

Natalie

Jim: These are gateway crimes.
George: Gateway to what? Loitering?

Sometimes I wish you had been given super hearing instead of super strength. Then maybe you'd listen to me.

Daphne

At the risk of being overly allegorical, with or without your powers, you make my cardiac organ levitate.

Katie

I don't know why I thought you could turn me into something I've never been. Normal.

Joshua
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 160 in total

No Ordinary Family Quotes

Stephanie: Who are you texting now?
Daphne: God.

I don't know why you guys can't go without me and just photo shop me in.

Daphne