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Nurse-jackie

I don't like chatty. I don't do chatty. I like quiet. Quiet and mean. Those are my people.

By the way, your husband's testicles have migrated. I'll let you know if we find them.

Don't say his name, it's not yours to say.

Cruz

Florida Gators, I know. I'm gay, I'm not a girl.

Thor

I shagged a nurse. In the chapel.

O'Hara

Zoey: Are you sexually active?
Patient: No. I pretty much just lie there.

(voice-over) Watch and learn. Percocet should never be crushed, broken or chewed unless you want it to hit your system like a bolt of lightning. Which is only a problem if you're afraid of lightning which I am not.

Jackie: Okay, a quick hypothetical. What would happen to a student nurse if she got busted flushing a patient's body part down the toilet?
Dr. O'Hara: That's so sweet, trying to take my mind off things with your own naughty doings. Was it a penis?
Jackie: No, an ear. Don't ask.
Dr. O'Hara: And you blamed the new girl? Well done. Well, she's a student. She won't get fired. Anyway, if you want me for backup, you can always say I ordered her to flush it.

Jackie: I think Grace is starting to unravel a little bit. It's scaring the shit out of me.
Dr. O'Hara: If you need anything, and I mean anything, you'd better bloody tell me or I will kill you.
Jackie: Yes.
Dr. O'Hara: And then she'll be motherless. And then I'll have to take her.
Jackie: Oh God.

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