Favorite Nurse Jackie Quotes
I don't like chatty. I don't do chatty. I like quiet. Quiet and mean. Those are my people.
I shagged a nurse. In the chapel.
O'Hara
Florida Gators, I know. I'm gay, I'm not a girl.
Thor
Don't say his name, it's not yours to say.
Cruz
Jackie: How can you read this crap?
Thor: Please, don't amplify my shame.
(voice-over) Watch and learn. Percocet should never be crushed, broken or chewed unless you want it to hit your system like a bolt of lightning. Which is only a problem if you're afraid of lightning which I am not.
I'm not in recovery. But I should be, for wedding cake addiction.
Thor
Jackie: Okay, a quick hypothetical. What would happen to a student nurse if she got busted flushing a patient's body part down the toilet?
Dr. O'Hara: That's so sweet, trying to take my mind off things with your own naughty doings. Was it a penis?
Jackie: No, an ear. Don't ask.
Dr. O'Hara: And you blamed the new girl? Well done. Well, she's a student. She won't get fired. Anyway, if you want me for backup, you can always say I ordered her to flush it.
God: You know, when I hit my head, I've seen something.
Zoey: Like what? Like a bottle was throwing at you?
Jackie: I think Grace is starting to unravel a little bit. It's scaring the shit out of me.
Dr. O'Hara: If you need anything, and I mean anything, you'd better bloody tell me or I will kill you.
Jackie: Yes.
Dr. O'Hara: And then she'll be motherless. And then I'll have to take her.
Jackie: Oh God.
Zoey: What's larger: morbidly obese or super obese?
I like to hide my humanity. Or at least keep it to a minimum.
Akalitus
