What kind of fu-king character witness am i really? Fu-k a guys wife then pretend to be friends with him?


You go to Paris, I'll go to Zales.


Ease up on the buddy buddy. You and your pathological need to be liked are gonna get us sued. Shut it down! Sew him up and cut him loose.

Mike Cruz

Mike Cruz: Thanks for that by the way.
Jackie: You owe me one.
Mike Cruz: No I don't.
Jackie: That works too.

Home is home, work is work.

Mike Cruz

Spanx are a fu*king miracle until they go rogue on you.

Divorce Lawyer

I'm not a good breaker-upper.


Welcome to the sh-t show.

When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Dr. Cruz

I don't have a thing for doctors, I have a thing for drugs.

I'm toning my uterus.


Playa hear ya, loud and clearya.


Nurse Jackie Quotes

Don't ever say "ta-da." The only people that say "ta-da" are magicians or idiots.

Jackie Peyton

Percoset should never be crushed and chewed, unless you want it to hit your system like a bolt of lightening. Which is only a problem if you're afraid of lightening.

Jackie Peyton