Nurse Jackie

Nurse Jackie Season 1 Quotes

Season 1 Episode 12: "Health Care And Cinema"

Eddie: I'm seeing someone, but she's married... with two kids.
Kevin: Sounds like a rough road.
Eddie: You have no idea.
 • Rating: Unrated

Eddie [to Jackie]: I met Kevin. Nice bar you two have.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jackie [to Fitch]: You're a moron.
 • Rating: Unrated

Zoey: Honesty is the best policy.
Jackie: No, it's not.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 11: "Pill-O-Matix"

Zoey [to a film critic]: So, why do you feel as though Hollywood has such disdain for cats?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 10: "Ring Finger"

Jackie: You're not a bad guy.
Fitch: That's what I've been trying to tell you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Zoey: What's larger: morbidly obese or super obese?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Zoey: You and Eddie are really cute together.
Jackie: I am not afraid to kill you in front of a priest.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mo-mo: What's up with O'Hara?
Jackie: Who knows.
Mo-mo: Usually she says hello.
Jackie: No, she only says hello when she's bored. Or when she's wearing something new and she wants someone to notice.
Mo-mo: God, you're right. Those Chanel pumps are hot though.
Jackie: I know she has taste. Doesn't mean she has manners.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 9: "Nose Bleed"

O'Hara: I think of you like a sister.
Jackie: Think again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jackie: Fun? This is not fun. This is f--king hard.
 • Rating: Unrated

Melissa [about Jackie]: I don't remember her.
Coop: She's only a nurse.
 • Rating: Unrated

Zoey: I haven't been able to go all day.
Jackie: Zoey, you can't talk to me when you're peeing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jackie: Get out. We don't [take drugs] here.
Temp: It takes one to know one.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 8: "Pupil"

Mrs. Akalitus (to Jackie): We're four nurses short. Well, you are. I'm fine.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 7: "Steak Knife"

Mo-mo: So, what happened?
Jackie: I didn't realize it was our anniversary and that makes me a terrible person.
Mo-mo: Anniversary?
Jackie: Yeah, it's been a year.
Mo-mo: A year? Wow, I had no clue.
Jackie: Neither did I.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jackie: I had a fight with my boyfriend.
Mo-mo: That is just wrong. How do I not know you have a boyfriend?
Jackie: Honey, you do all the talking!
Mo-mo: I do, don't I?
 • Rating: Unrated

Zoey: Can I at least take the knife out?
Jackie: No, Zoey. Never remove a foreign object protruding from a patient. The surgeon does that, you understand?
Zoey: (whispers) But it's so tempting.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jackie: Zoey, come here. Put your hand on here. Hold it firmly.
Zoey: I can do that. Sorry, I'm just saying I could do more important things here.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jackie: (to "God"): Stop picking on my nurses! Alright, pick on criminals, pick on white guys!
 • Rating: Unrated

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