Piper: I am so so so sorry. I had no idea he was going to say those things.
Miss Claudette: Is that what you think of me?

Lesbians can be very dangerous. It's the testosterone.

Healy

OK. Here's some advice. When a girl makes you come the way that I do, you pretend that you're excited to see her.

Alex

You live on a slippery slope, kid, but for some reason you keep doing rain dances. Good luck.

Howard

Piper: Why do you always feel so inevitable to me?
Alex: I heart you.

This smells like mildew. That means your counter is gonna smell like mildew. You need to wash your rags, Red.

Nicky

Piper: I'm not mean. I didn't mean to be mean to you.
Crazy Eyes: You gotta start from the inside out or else you'll step on the clean.

Black Cindy: Yo, what's your sign.
Poussey: Yo. My sign is get your ass up and help me with this shit.

You just stood there while she attacked me and then you gave her new teeth.

Piper

Hey Kate Winslet, see any icebergs?

Boo

You seem depressed, even for prison. You know, if you ever want to talk about it, that's what counselors are for (laughs).

Alex

They all work in kitchens don't they. They all pop out of the truck of a car and learn to fry an egg. God bless America.

Red