Orange is the New Black
Fridays 8:00 PM on NetflixOrange is the New Black Season 1 Episode 5: "The Chickening" Quotes
Sophia: Why did God have to give me that stupid penis?
Sister Ingalls: I don't know. Any more than I know why he gave men nipples.
You think this is the first time I've heard about the chicken? It's popular fiction. It's like global warming and female ejaculation.
Healy
All I wanted was to eat the chicken that was smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power and enjoy a nice Chicken Kiev but, oh well.
Red
Howard: You want to know if she fingered her. I think that's been established.
Larry: Dad, please. No jokes. I can't take it right now.
I figured it out when you thought Stations of the Cross was Christian radio.
Sister Ingalls
Pornstache: How did you survive infancy?
Pennasatucky: My auntie helped my mama.
Pornstache: That was a rhetorical question. Don't you understand what the hell a rhetorical question is?!
Woah, that's not happening, and you don't just turn gay. You fall somewhere on a spectrum. It's like a Kinsey scale.
Piper
God has chosen to test our conviction.
Pennsatucky
First girl who bags that bird gets a box of Biore strips.
Red
I had my tea, it was almost hot. I had my book, it was almost good. And I saw a chicken. How random is that?
Piper