Fridays 8:00 PM on Netflix
Orange-is-the-new-black

Sophia: Why did God have to give me that stupid penis?
Sister Ingalls: I don't know. Any more than I know why he gave men nipples.

You think this is the first time I've heard about the chicken? It's popular fiction. It's like global warming and female ejaculation.

Healy

All I wanted was to eat the chicken that was smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power and enjoy a nice Chicken Kiev but, oh well.

Red

Howard: You want to know if she fingered her. I think that's been established.
Larry: Dad, please. No jokes. I can't take it right now.

I figured it out when you thought Stations of the Cross was Christian radio.

Sister Ingalls

Pornstache: How did you survive infancy?
Pennasatucky: My auntie helped my mama.
Pornstache: That was a rhetorical question. Don't you understand what the hell a rhetorical question is?!

Woah, that's not happening, and you don't just turn gay. You fall somewhere on a spectrum. It's like a Kinsey scale.

Piper

God has chosen to test our conviction.

Pennsatucky

First girl who bags that bird gets a box of Biore strips.

Red

I had my tea, it was almost hot. I had my book, it was almost good. And I saw a chicken. How random is that?

Piper
Displaying all 10 quotes

Want more Orange is the New Black?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

Orange is the New Black Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

All I wanted was to eat the chicken that was smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power and enjoy a nice Chicken Kiev but, oh well.

Red

First girl who bags that bird gets a box of Biore strips.

Red
x Close Ad