Orange is the New Black
Fridays 8:00 PM on NetflixOrange is the New Black Quotes
Freida: Haven't you ever killed someone before?
Alex: No. Have you?
Freida: That's personal. But if I had, I'd know better than to waste my time digging one six-foot hole when I could dig six one-foot holes.That's just murder math.
Freida: I'm bored. What's the plan?
Alex: Bury him under the floorboards.
Freida: Well, that's dumb.
Crazy Eyes: I -- I don't know if I'm in trouble or not. I...ate...lead.
Taystee: Girl, we've all eaten lead. That's probably why half of us are in here.
What? I'm bored! Can't we have a race war? It'll be fun!
Black Cindy
Janae: Black people can't be racist. We have no power.
Black Cindy: I'm gonna have to call bullsh*t on that. I'm sorry, look, we may not be able to act on our racism, like, put people in a ghetto, send them to sh*tty schools...-kill 'em in the back of police vans. But we sure as sh*t can be racist as everybody else, because this is America. Land of the free, home of the racist.
Lolly: Well, guess who's back on the ground?
Alex: Uh-uh.
Lolly: Come on! [snaps fingers] Shirt up, bra down, floobies out, face slack. Dead girl porn. Cosby dream shot.
Lolly: Ooh, what's that?
Alex: Emoji.
Lolly: They got more of those?
Alex: Hmm, yeah. I mean, there's all kinds.
Lolly: Oh, I like the kitty with the heart eyes. [gasps] And the alien! But that's not how aliens really look.
Gina: Jesus, Chapman. A little magic happens around here and you make it all about you, like you made it happen.
Piper: But I did, that's my point. I'm gangsta. Like with an "A" at the end.
Because I wear protection, so I haven't caught whatever form of syphilis you have that caused your soul to rot.
Caputo
I ruined my miracle by getting thrown in the SHU. Which was seriously the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Even counting that time I smoked crack thinking it was meth and then took four shots of Everclear and ate cat poop.
Angie
I have a birthmark on my left butt cheek that's shaped like a scarab. Doesn't make me Cleopatra.
Red
Daya: You make it sound like she's drugs.
Aledia: The worst kind. She's gonna make you feel better than you ever thought you could, then drain all your money and ruin your life. You're always gonna need her. And even when you hate her, you're gonna love her.
