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Parenthood

Woody Allen said masturbation was having sex with someone you love.

Adam

Amber: You do know what he's doing in there, don't you?
Sarah: Yes, he's getting clean.
Amber: Spanking clean.

Adam: Well, what are we going to do about this?
Kristina: Nothing.
Adam: Nothing?
Kristina: It is what it is and there's nothing we can do about it.
Adam: Well, can I still hate the guy?

Sarah: He's not the only kid who's been dealt a rough hand.
Adam: I know.
Sarah: All Drew has done his whole life is wait for his father to show up...

Joel: Does telling me exactly what I should say make you feel like less of a control freak?
Julia: All right fine, this is who I am. I am going to except it. I'm a control freak.

Racquel: We can't make our children into something they are not.
Julia: Thanks. That's very Buddhist.

Amber: Can't you just punish me please?
Sarah: No I can't punish you, because I ran out of good punishments for you in Fresno. We'll have to see what he comes up with.

Julia: Crosby I'm serious, I'm, I'm... you have to get the test. Yes, there are serious financial and legal ramifications.
Crosby: You know, sometimes you sound so much like a lawyer.

Adam: So I'm just going to say that felt like the real deal. I'm right?
Kristina: Yep, your right!

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