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Parenthood

Crosby: Hey, you know that praying thing you do?
Jabbar: Yeah?
Crosby: Do you think you can show me how it works?
Jabbar: Yeah!

Honey, our son is the new president at Cedar Knoll Middle School. God help us all.

Adam

Some people say that having Aspergers is a bad thing, but I'm glad I have it, because I think it's my greatest strength.

Max

Crosby: Look, I know you didn't want a full house. I'm sorry I'm early, but I love Kristina, too, so I will hang out in the cafeteria or whatever, but I'm not leaving the hospital. I can get you some barbecue potato chips or come tea or something.
Adam: Tea.

Sarah: We were in the dark room. We were developing...
Adam: The dark room? What? Are you in seventh grade?

No, I don't want tea. Why does everybody keep asking me if I want tes? Since when have I been a tea drinker? I hate tea!

Adam

This stay at home parent thing? The full time thing? Harder than I thought.

Julia

Max: You know, if you eat anything before your surgery, you could throw up into your breathing tube and inhale it into your lungs.
Adam: Max, stop.
Max: If you ever do that, it's a hundred percent death rate.

Adam: I'm sure he's going to be fine, honey. Crosby said he was going to 'totes' handle it.
Kristina: I don't know what that means, 'totes' handle it.

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