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Parenthood

A man has a certain relationship with his Thanksgiving day bird.

Zeek

Nate: Oh drama, baby thinks that Crosby stole {the school play} from him.
Joel: Thanks, that didn't make me sound petty at all.

Crosby: Kristina, she's Switzerland, we can use her as a buffer.
Sarah: Yeah, can we clone her and sit her next to all of the difficult people?

I'm running for president of Thanksgiving.

Sarah

I went to your little Portuguese pound cake, and told him to stay away from what's mine!

Zeek [to Camille]

Amber, life will knock you down more times than you can possibly imagine. Don't knock yourself down.

Adam [to Amber]

I've been dying to be your assistant since we met.

Crosby [to Joel]

Crosby: What about you Adam, have you ever used my home as a cheap hourly motel?
Adam: Don't be ridiculous. Of course I have!
Crosby: Little did I know I was living on a floating brothel.

Bravermantitus, it slowly eats away at your brain until you become exactly like them.

Joel [to Jasmine]
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