Chris: What did you do for her?
Ron: Fixed her pothole.
Chris: Is that a euphemism?

Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems.

Andy

No blood orphans. I don't know what that is.

Andy

Ron: Anne was getting a little chummy. When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
April: That's a really nice move.
Ron: Thank you.
April: You're welcome Lester.

Andy: What else does your family own?
Lord Covington: Well, um have you heard of Scotland?

Andy: April, you're like an angel with no wings.
April: So like a person?

The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

Ron

Tom: Your favorite kind of cake can't be birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal if breakfast cereal.
Donna: I love breakfast cereal.

This spaceship keyboard is driving me crazy. I'm down to one word a minute and the word is perflipiskop. Because I can't fly spaceships.

Donna

When I eat it is the food that is scared.

Ron

Tom: You went on a vacation and you chose Muncie, Indiana?
Jerry: My wife and I have a timeshare.
Tom: In Muncie?!
Leslie: Tom, Muncie is a lovely city.

I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.

Ron

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy