Andy, if you have a secret, you have to tell me. That’s the whole point of marriage! You get twice the secrets!

April

Slowing down is not really my jam.

Leslie

We’re all just calm and happy people together enjoying ourselves on earth.

Leslie

Ben! We knocked it out of the park first time around. If we play this right, we could raise one third of the Supreme Court!

Leslie

Andy, I was nice to Larry. I scratched his back and had a conversation with him! It was horrible! How could you do that to me?

April

Hello, Joe. My name is Ron Swanson. I am Donna’s work-proximity associate.

Ron

This is the hardest I’ve ever worked on anything since…wow—I’ve never worked hard on anything! What a cool life!

Tom

Despite what my pocket square says, I’m not a billionaire.

Tom

Damn, Donna. Why you gotta bring the Quackson Five into this?

Ginuwine

I hate doing work, but I love being flattered. So maybe I’ll give it another try.

Tom

Excuse me, Miss Hanley? Would you mind if I snapped a you-y? It’s what I call selfies of other people.

Tom

Tom: What is this, a rotten grapefruit?
Larry: No, it’s my dog’s rectum.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy