Andy, I was nice to Larry. I scratched his back and had a conversation with him! It was horrible! How could you do that to me?

April

Hello, Joe. My name is Ron Swanson. I am Donna’s work-proximity associate.

Ron

This is the hardest I’ve ever worked on anything since…wow—I’ve never worked hard on anything! What a cool life!

Tom

Despite what my pocket square says, I’m not a billionaire.

Tom

Damn, Donna. Why you gotta bring the Quackson Five into this?

Ginuwine

I hate doing work, but I love being flattered. So maybe I’ll give it another try.

Tom

Excuse me, Miss Hanley? Would you mind if I snapped a you-y? It’s what I call selfies of other people.

Tom

Tom: What is this, a rotten grapefruit?
Larry: No, it’s my dog’s rectum.

Chicago has a lot of stuff and people, but I like to nothing and hang out with no one, so no thank you. And I love you. But no thank you.

April

Please, Ron. I’ve never asked you for anything today.

Tom

I will defeat you. I will defeat you right into my pants.

Tammy

Ben: Today is Leslie’s last day as a counselor, so everyone needs to be extra supportive.
Ron: Already done. When I walked past her this morning, I gave her a kind nod.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy