Andy: You know when you go to the ATM and get money—is there an actual guy that stands there and gives you money?
Ron: No.
Andy: Yeah, those are robots.

• Permalink: Yeah, those are robots.
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Okay, but we should talk soon because I almost bought a toe ring the other day.

Ann

• Permalink: Okay, but we should talk soon because I almost bought a toe ring the other day.
• Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Will you go to the prom with me?
Ben: Why, I thought you’d never ask…because we’re 40.

• Permalink: Why, I thought you’d never ask…because we’re 40.
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I did a show called Zoot, Zoot Wyatt in college.

Ben

• Permalink: I did a show called Zoot, Zoot Wyatt in college.
• Rating: Unrated

I hope that high school auditorium is big enough because I’m bringing 10,000 Maniacs.

Ben

• Permalink: I hope that high school auditorium is big enough because I’m bringing 10,000 Maniacs.
• Rating: Unrated

Tom: Every song I download has to pass a series of rigorous tests to answer one simple question: is it a banger?

• Permalink: is it a banger?
• Rating: Unrated

Ohh, girl, you look creepy.

Andy

• Permalink: Ohh, girl, you look creepy.
• Rating: Unrated

Tom: How bout I break you off some of that Ja Rule?
Student: Who’s Ja Rule?

• Permalink: Who’s Ja Rule?
• Rating: Unrated

I don’t drink alcohol from that portion of the color system.

Ron

• Permalink: I don’t drink alcohol from that portion of the color system.
• Rating: Unrated

This comes from your mother’s butt.

April

• Permalink: This comes from your mother’s butt.
• Rating: Unrated

Tom: You’re like a crazy volcano. You’ll have to bring it down a notch.
Craig: I’ll bring it down a dozen notches if I have to!

• Permalink: I’ll bring it down a dozen notches if I have to!
• Rating: Unrated

Andy, if you have a secret, you have to tell me. That’s the whole point of marriage! You get twice the secrets!

April

• Permalink: Andy, if you have a secret, you have to tell me. That’s the whole point of marriage! You get...
• Rating: Unrated