Favorite Parks and Recreation Quotes
I'm a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food. But this stock photo I bought at a framing store isn't real. Today I got the real thing. A naked Tammy made me breakfast this morning. I should have taken a picture of it.Ron
Yeah, Jessica's a gold digger. But I'm a gold digger, digger.Tom
Tom put all my records into this rectangle!Ron
Ron: I suffer from a disorder called Sleep Fighting.
Leslie: Wow, must be terrible.
Ron: Only when I'm losing.
My mom's Puerto Rican. That's why I'm so lively and colorful.April
I got that tunnel vision that girls get. I let my emotions get the best of me. I cared too much, I guess. I was thinking with my lady parts. I was walking and it felt icky. I thought there was gonna be chocolate. I don't even remember! I'm wearing a new bra, and it closes in the front, so it popped open and it threw me off. All I wanna do is have babies! I'm just going through a thing right now. I guess when my life is incomplete, I wanna just shoot someone. This would not happen if I had a penis! Bitches be crazy. I'm good at tolerating pain; I'm bad at math, and... I'm stupid.Leslie [giving excuses why she shot Ron]
Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.Ron
Oh my God, your inbox is literally filled with penises.Chris
Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.Ron
I want to be president someday, so I have not smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once. At a party in college. It was kind of indescribable really. I felt like I was floating. It turns out that there wasn't any marijuana in it, it was just an insanely good brownie.Leslie
I think the entire government should be privatized. Chuck E. Cheese could run the parks. Everything operated by tokens. Drop in a token, go on the swing set. Drop in another token, take a walk. Drop in a token, look at a duck.Ron
"No Oren I don't know how I'm going to die. Wait, are you asking me or telling me?"Ben