Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch Parks and Recreation.

Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.

What the fuck is a German muffin?!?

Ron

I love her so much, but I think I'm going to draw a mustache on her face.

Ann

April: I love you.
Andy: Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce!

Leslie: You could go to jail. Jail, Ron. Ron, Jail. Jail, Ron, jail. You could go to jail. Jail. Jail. Jail. Jail.
Ron: Are you broken?

Well, you know it's like I always say 'it ain't government work if you don't have to do it twice.'

Jerry

"No Oren I don't know how I'm going to die. Wait, are you asking me or telling me?"

Ben

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.

Ron

Zerts are what I call deserts, tray trays are what I call entrees, sandwiches are sammies, sandoozles or Adam Sandlers, air conditioners are cool blaterz with a "z" ... I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big ol' cookies, I call noodles long ass rice, fried chicken is fry fry chicky chick, chicken parmesan is chicky chicky parm parm, chicken caciatore is chicky catch, I call eggs pre-birds or future birds, root beer is super water, tortillas are bean blankets, and I call forks... food rakes!

Tom

No blood orphans. I don't know what that is.

Andy

Leslie has a lot of qualities I find horrifying. But the worst one by far is how thoughtful she can be.

Ron

Oh, Andy. You're fine, but you're simple

Donna
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 1356 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.