Favorite Parks and Recreation Quotes
OK, hypothetically if you're going on a mission to, say, catch a guilty whale. And while you were catching the whale, you saw something else that may also be another whale, and you were like, "What?" But then you thought, "Maybe it's not a whale. Maybe it's a big fish, maybe it's a submarine with a face painted on it." The point is if I kill the first whale, am I technically a murderer?Leslie
Oh my God, your inbox is literally filled with penises.Chris
Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.
Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.
Leslie: Yellow haired female... likes waffles and news.
Ann: Sexy, well-read blonde... loves the sweeter things in life.
Leslie: Much better.
Leslie: Organizing my agenda. Wait, that doesn't sound fun...jammin' on my planner!
Ann: Favorite place?
Leslie: Upstairs there's this mural of wildflowers, and I like to sit on a bench in front of it.
Ann: Really? It could be anywhere in the world: Paris, Hawaii, the Grand Canyon...
Leslie: Nope. Just the bench in front of the mural.
Ann: What about an actual meadow, where wildflowers are?
Leslie: Eww, Ann, I'm scared of bees, mural!
Ann: Okay, what do you think of dogs?
Leslie: No opinion. They're condescending.
Ann: Describe your ideal man.
Leslie: He's dark and mysterious, and he can sing. And he plays the organ.
Ann: I think you just described the Phantom of the Opera.
Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.Ron
Well, you know it's like I always say 'it ain't government work if you don't have to do it twice.'Jerry
I love her so much, but I think I'm going to draw a mustache on her face.Ann
Every two weeks I need to sand down my toe nails. They're too strong for clippers.Ron Swanson
Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.
April: I love you.
Andy: Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce!
Leslie: You could go to jail. Jail, Ron. Ron, Jail. Jail, Ron, jail. You could go to jail. Jail. Jail. Jail. Jail.
Ron: Are you broken?