Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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April: I love you.
Andy: Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce!

"No Oren I don't know how I'm going to die. Wait, are you asking me or telling me?"

Ben

Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.

I love her so much, but I think I'm going to draw a mustache on her face.

Ann

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.

Ron

Leslie: You could go to jail. Jail, Ron. Ron, Jail. Jail, Ron, jail. You could go to jail. Jail. Jail. Jail. Jail.
Ron: Are you broken?

Well, you know it's like I always say 'it ain't government work if you don't have to do it twice.'

Jerry

What the fuck is a German muffin?!?

Ron

No blood orphans. I don't know what that is.

Andy

Zerts are what I call deserts, tray trays are what I call entrees, sandwiches are sammies, sandoozles or Adam Sandlers, air conditioners are cool blaterz with a "z" ... I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big ol' cookies, I call noodles long ass rice, fried chicken is fry fry chicky chick, chicken parmesan is chicky chicky parm parm, chicken caciatore is chicky catch, I call eggs pre-birds or future birds, root beer is super water, tortillas are bean blankets, and I call forks... food rakes!

Tom

Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life.

Ron

Oh, Andy. You're fine, but you're simple

Donna
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 1356 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.