Favorite Parks and Recreation Quotes
The band has had a few different names over the years. When we started we were Teddy Bear Suicide. But then we changed it to Mouse Rat. Then we were God Hates Figs; Department of Homeland Obscurity; Flames for Flames; Muscle Confusion; Nothing Rhymes With Orange; then Everything Rhymes With Orange; Punch Face Champions; Rad Wagon; Puppy Pendulum; Possum Pendulum; Penis Pendulum; Handrail Suicide; Angel Snack; Just the Tip; Threeskin; Jet Black Pope; we went back to Mouse Rat and now we are Scarecrow Boat. God when I hear myself say "Scarecrow Boat" out loud I kind of hate it.
Andy
Be proud of yourself. You deserve an award. Not this one, obviously. This one belongs to me. But some other one. Some other lesser award.
Ron
Hey, Mark. It's Leslie. Change of plans. Can you call me back? Tom, get here. Call me. Bye. Hey, Leslie. It's Leslie. Hang in there. I love you. Bye.
Leslie
Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner because I've won an award.
Ron
It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something.
Ron [on fishing]
"The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy."
Ron
She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy you can just tell people she's crazy. "Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up." "Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy." That's what they always do on Entourage.
Tom
I want to treat April like a queen. And queens deserve flowers and massages, chocolate, booze, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, them treasure chests full of scarves, different kinds of lubes that warm up when you rub them on stuff.
Andy
Just one rule, I don't want to date a twin because I've been tricked before
Leslie
You know why tonight is so much fun? Because everyone's so gay. And they know how to have fun, and the dancing ... everyone is just who they are and who they are is just stone cold gay.
Leslie
God, why does everything we do have to be cloaked in like 15 layers of irony?
April
You are wearing the hell out of that suit, sir. Banana two-button. We should talk later.
Tom
