Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation "Beauty Pageant" Quotes

April [about the beauty pageant]: I may not have won, but at least I didn't make any new friendships.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: And he didn't know who Madeliene Albright was.
Ann: Who?
Leslie: Not you too. Madeline Albright, first female Secreatary of State.
Ann: No, I mean who didn't know?
 • Rating: Unrated

Mark: Maybe you should try and relax. Maybe take one of those Ativans I saw in the medicine cabinet.
Ann: Dude!
Mark: Yeah, I peaked. Also I didn't see any toothpaste. Do you use toothpaste?
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: What you doing in these parts?
Dave: Oh, I just, uh, I came by to see the murals. This one is pretty amazing.
Leslie: Yeah, this one's a beauty. You know, in the 1880's, there were a few years that were pretty rough and tumble in Pawnee. This depicts kind of a famous fight between Reverend Bradley and Annabeth Stevenson, a widowed mother of seven. The original title of this was "A Lively Fisting." But y'know, they had to change it for...obvious reasons.
Dave: She's got him by the hair pretty good there.
Leslie: Yeah.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: I don't think I could date someone doesn't share my interests. Could you date someone who doesn't love giving vaccinations?
Ann: I've never dated anyone who's loved giving vaccinations.
 • Rating: Unrated

April: This is an impression of my sister, Natalie.. "Hi, I'm Natalie, I like Ritalin and have low self-esteem!"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: Is Mark the guy who's fixing your shower? Because I don't know about you, Mark, but I've seen a lot of porn, and I know what "fixing your shower" means.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ann: I'm sorry, you don't think it's weird that my ex-boyfriend lives in a tent in the pit outside my house?
Mark: It's....not....ideal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: I'm a judge, so I don't want to seem partial, but Trish will win this over my dead body.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?
 • Rating: Unrated

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