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I may not have won, but at least I didn't make any new friendships.

April [about the beauty pageant]

Leslie: And he didn't know who Madeliene Albright was.
Ann: Who?
Leslie: Not you too. Madeline Albright, first female Secreatary of State.
Ann: No, I mean who didn't know?

Mark: Maybe you should try and relax. Maybe take one of those Ativans I saw in the medicine cabinet.
Ann: Dude!
Mark: Yeah, I peaked. Also I didn't see any toothpaste. Do you use toothpaste?

Leslie: What you doing in these parts?
Dave: Oh, I just, uh, I came by to see the murals. This one is pretty amazing.
Leslie: Yeah, this one's a beauty. You know, in the 1880's, there were a few years that were pretty rough and tumble in Pawnee. This depicts kind of a famous fight between Reverend Bradley and Annabeth Stevenson, a widowed mother of seven. The original title of this was "A Lively Fisting." But y'know, they had to change it for...obvious reasons.
Dave: She's got him by the hair pretty good there.
Leslie: Yeah.

Leslie: I don't think I could date someone doesn't share my interests. Could you date someone who doesn't love giving vaccinations?
Ann: I've never dated anyone who's loved giving vaccinations.

This is an impression of my sister, Natalie.. "Hi, I'm Natalie, I like Ritalin and have low self-esteem!"

April

Is Mark the guy who's fixing your shower? Because I don't know about you, Mark, but I've seen a lot of porn, and I know what "fixing your shower" means.

Andy

Ann: I'm sorry, you don't think it's weird that my ex-boyfriend lives in a tent in the pit outside my house?
Mark: It's....not....ideal.

I'm a judge, so I don't want to seem partial, but Trish will win this over my dead body.

Leslie

I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?

Tom
Displaying all 10 quotes

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 3 Quotes

I'm a judge, so I don't want to seem partial, but Trish will win this over my dead body.

Leslie

I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?

Tom
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