Ben: You need a ride back to the office?
Chris: No, no. I'm going to go for a light 15K. I missed yesterday.

Ben: I got you some waffles here courtesy of J.J.'s Diner. And chicken soup courtesy of me.
Leslie: I'll take the waffles.

Was I wearing a tiara when I came in here? Because if you happen upon it, would you have Lady Pennyface retrieve it and send it post-hence?


Leslie: That's a very good question, sir. And I would counter with my own question, which is: Why is half of your face all swirly?

That was amazing. That was a flu-ridden Michael Jordan at the '97 NBC FInals. That was Kirk Gibson hobbling up to the plate and hitting a homer off of Dennis Eckersley. That was... that was Leslie Knope.


Before we get started, a quick announcement. Every Thursday night is ladies night down at the Snakehole Lounge over on Bernum Avenue. Ladies get two drinks for the price of one. Well, that can't be right. That's way too good of a deal. Nope. That is what it says. Wow, that sounds like a fun time.


Leslie: Oh, boy. Hold on. Be careful.
Ben: What?
Leslie: The floor and the wall just switched. Walk very carefully.

I'm not sure. I looked at the meter and it had Egyptian hieroglyphics on it. Do you know the exchange rate?


Chris: I had a dream. That she came into this room. Stole all my flu medicine and told me not to tell you and disappeared through that hole in the wall.
Ann: The door?

I like Andy. I'm surrounded by a lot of women in this department. And that includes the men.


You are an unstoppable good idea machine!


Andy: Let me go to Big Head Joe's for you. They have the most insane burritos.
Ron: I don't much go for ethnic food.
Andy: No no no. Trust me. They have one that's called the meat tornado. Literally killed a guy last year.
Ron: You had me at meat tornado.

Parks and Recreation Season 3 Episode 2 Quotes

Ann's my doctor. And she's the most beautiful nurse in the world.


The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.