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Parks-and-recreation

One time when I was in high school a guy's mom called me and broke up with me for him. There was another time when I was on a date and I tripped and broke my kneecap, and then the guy said he wasn't feeling it, so he left and I waited for an ambulance. One time I was dating this guy for awhile, and then he got down on one knee and he begged me to never call him again. One guy broke up with me while we were in the shower together. Skywriting isn't always positive. Another time a guy invited me to a beautiful picnic with wine and flowers. And then when I tried to sit down, he said, "Don't eat anything. Rebecca's coming." And then he broke up with me.

Leslie

Women's razors work better. For whatever reason men's razor technology hasn't figured out a way to properly contour the shin bone.

Chris

Leslie: Chris is cheating on Ann. There's evidence everywhere. She's coming up here so they can have it out.
Ron: Ask her to bring some garlic salt. I'm worried Chris doesn't have any.

When I'm done eating a Mulligan's meal, for weeks afterwards, there are flecks of meat in my mustache. And I refuse to clean it because every now and then a piece of meat will fall into my mouth.

Ron

If you would be willing to just take a brief pit stop, we could see Indiana's second-largest rocking chair.

Leslie

Then I'm sure he's not cheating on you. But if he is, he's a monster. And if he's not, you guys are great together. But if he is, I will kill him.

Leslie

I want to treat April like a queen. And queens deserve flowers and massages, chocolate, booze, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, them treasure chests full of scarves, different kinds of lubes that warm up when you rub them on stuff.

Andy

So, what do you want to do tonight? We could watch TV at Burley's house, or we could watch TV at your house. Or, I mean we could watch TV at Best Buy.

Andy

I move around a lot, so the friends I make in these cities, they're like Facebook friends, you know? "Hey, Doug from Bloomington is thinking about buying a shirt." Come on, Doug, who cares?

Ben

Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.

Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice.

Tom

Leslie: I think it should be me and then you. But, if you want, it could be you and then me. Or it could go me you me. What do you think?
Ron: How about just you?
Leslie: Thank you, Ron. Yes.

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Parks and Recreation Season 3 Episode 6 Quotes

Ron: You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of bacon and eggs, but what I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

Skywriting isn't always positive.

Leslie
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