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Leslie, you need to understand that we are headed to the most special place on earth. When I'm done eating a Mulligan's meal, for weeks afterwards there flecks of meat in my mustache and I refuse to clean it because every now and then a piece of meat will fall into my mouth.

Ron

Tom: Watch the master work it, I am the Yoda of networking.
Ben: Well Yoda wouldn't actually need networking, his powers were more spiritual.
Tom: Shut up you nerd!

What happened to the steaks that were in there when they closed? (tearily) Do you think they got eaten?

Ron

He's not going to be able to keep anything from me. In high school they used to call me Angela Lansbery... but that was because of my hair cut.

Leslie

His real name is Dante Fiero, but he changed it to Dennis Feinstein 'cause that's way more exotic in Pawnee.

Tom

You don't have to buy me things. I just like being around you.

April

Ron: You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of bacon and eggs, but what I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

Skywriting isn't always positive.

Leslie
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Parks and Recreation Season 3 Episode 6 Quotes

I want to treat April like a queen. And queens deserve flowers and massages, chocolate, booze, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, them treasure chests full of scarves, different kinds of lubes that warm up when you rub them on stuff.

Andy

Ron: You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of bacon and eggs, but what I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

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