When I get bummed out I take my shirt off because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty.

Chris

If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.

Tom

I can never tell if people are lying to me. I hope that doesn't come up in my police work.

Andy

Can you say per capita again? I want to take a picture of you saying "per capita."

Breakfast food can serve many purposes.

Ron

I gotta give you credit. Your mission statement made sense and you didn't use one R. Kelly lyric.

Ben

Just call me Bond, Municipal Bond!

Ben

Ben: What's your new company?
Tom: We specialize in making stacks on stacks on stacks on stacks.

[to Joe Biden] You're my...my name just came out of your mouth!

Leslie: 2020.
Ben: Uh. that's a stretch.
Leslie: Fine. 2024. I take the West Wing, you take the East. You can be the First Gentleman.

Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes

[to Joe Biden] You're my...my name just came out of your mouth!

Leslie

Leslie: 2020.
Ben: Uh. that's a stretch.
Leslie: Fine. 2024. I take the West Wing, you take the East. You can be the First Gentleman.