Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 19: "Park Safety" Quotes
Ann: I watch a lot of Lifetime movies. There was this one, "How Far is Too Far Enough: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story." This woman had agoraphobia and her therapist was obsessed with her. And he hid in her house, and then he attacked her and tried to eat her toes. Also, her daughter was having sex way too young. So yeah, free self defense class? I'm there.
- Permalink: The Terry Palaver Lonagan Story. This woman had agoraphobia and ...
Andy: Ron, do you think maybe I should put Mark in a headlock? That way I can show everyone how to escape a pervert.
Mark: In the scenario you just laid out, you're the pervert. You understand that right?
Andy: You wish.
- Permalink: Ron, do you think maybe I should put Mark in a headlock? That wa...
Carl: Oh you think you know how to do my job? You might not be so confident once you've walked a mile in my size 7s.
Leslie: Kinda small feet.
Tom: Actually 7 is the worldwide average.
- Permalink: Oh you think you know how to do my job? You might not be so conf...
Leslie, have you seen Avatar? I never saw Avatar. I wanted to read the book first, but then I realized that there's no book version of Avatar. What'd you guys do for St. Patty's Day? I was wearing this T-shirt that said, "Kiss Me I'm Irish." But no one would kiss me.Carl
- Permalink: Leslie, have you seen Avatar? I never saw Avatar. I wanted to re...
Jerry: Anyway, hunting and fishing season is winding down, OK? And we all know that it is already closed season on twout. So now-I said twout instead of trout.
Donna: It happens to everyone.
Jerry: My marbles are full of mouth today.
- Permalink: Anyway, hunting and fishing season is winding down, OK? And we a...
Tom: You went on a vacation and you chose Muncie, Indiana?
Jerry: My wife and I have a timeshare.
Tom: In Muncie?!
Leslie: Tom, Muncie is a lovely city.
- Permalink: You went on a vacation and you chose Muncie, Indiana? My wife ...
I always had fun with Andy. The problem is when you're his girlfriend, you're also his mother, and his maid, and his nurse. He's completely helpless. He's like a baby in a straightjacket. Ooo, baby in a straightjacket, that's a good band name. I should tell him that.Ann
- Permalink: I always had fun with Andy. The problem is when you're his girlf...
Jerry: I was walking Lord Sheldon.
April: Ew, is that code for some kind of weird sex act?
Jerry: Lord Sheldon is my dog. My wife named him.
- Permalink: I was walking Lord Sheldon. Ew, is that code for some kind of ...
A schlemiel is the guy who spills soup at a fancy party. A schlamazel is the guy he spills it on. Jerry is both the schlemiel and the schlamazel of our office.Ron
- Permalink: A schlemiel is the guy who spills soup at a fancy party. A schla...