Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Leslie: The first line, by the way: Oh captain, my captain. Ron Swanson, a swan song. Yeah. It gets better from there!

The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that's beautiful.

Ron

That's the Canadian version. Twenty-two extra minutes. And there's a bonus audio track where LL Cool J raps all his dialogue.

Tom

Marcie: Hmm, you seem to have a $40 late fee on a book called Mysteries of the Female Orgasm!
Leslie: No I don't!

April: Oh my god, they're amazing.
Jerry: They're more than amazing. They are terrific.
April: Terrific's not more than amazing, Jerry.
Jerry: No? Well, it's not less.

After I got home, I drank six more glasses of whiskey and then I finished crafting this mall harp, using a bandsaw, a spokeshave and an oscillating spindle sander.

Ron

Swansons have a preternaturally high tolerance for alcohol. My old man used to put Wild Turkey on his cornflakes.

Ron

Tom: Brendanawicz. Quick question: Do you personally know Xzibit because I was checking out that pick up truck of your's and that ride is pimp.

Wow, that family looks so healthy. Look at them, they're all wearing vests.

Leslie

Who am I suppose to ask for fashion advice? Jerry? He wears the same suit-stained khakis every day.

Tom

Why don't you get some Canadian bacon on it, since you're from Canada, and sausage, because I'm brown and spicy.

Tom

Pawnee is the fourth most obese city in America. The kids here are just beefy. They're husky, big-boned, chunk monsters.

Ann
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 16 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 15 Quotes

I think the entire government should be privatized. Chuck E. Cheese could run the parks. Everything operated by tokens. Drop in a token, go on the swing set. Drop in another token, take a walk. Drop in a token, look at a duck.

Ron

You look like Encyclopedia Brown

Leslie