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Tom: That looks like something a death row convict would make in art therapy.
Ann: Dude, I tried.
Tom: And you failed.

I know everything about this town and these murals, and that's why this is a dream come true. Literally, I have had a dream where I design a mural, but then it turned into a nightmare because the mural started talking and it came alive. And it was whispering and I couldn't hear what it was saying so I leaned in close and then it ate me. At one point Gina Gershon was there.

Leslie

I'm a terrible artist. But the Parks Department has done so much for me, that if I can help them out in any way I will. Oh god. Maybe I should just give them all free flu shots.

Ann

Tom: Dude, what the hell kind of art is this? It looks like a lizard puking up Skittles.
Arnold: I'm an abstract expressionist.
Tom: No, you're a con artist, and I'm a guy who's out 20 bucks. Ugh, whatever.

Tom: I have no interest in art. Let me clarify: I have no interest in non-nude images.

Tom: Just give me $20 worth of art. Just something that seems personal that only I could have done.
Arnold: Tell me about yourself.
Tom: No. Just paint.

Andy: Do you have a key in your shoe?
Ron: No, no. I have a bunion that's practically it's own toe. Normally the pain howls through my loafers like a banshee on the moors, but these past three minutes its been reduced to a faint growl.

I got my first job when I was 9. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country.

Ron

Donna: No offense, Leslie, but I'm not an artist.
Leslie: That's not true, Donna. I've seen your fingernails.
Donna: Um, I pay someone to do this.

Leslie: You can have two legacies. Look at Madonna: great singer, amazing arms.
Tom: Look at O.J. Simpson: Heisman Trophy winner, Naked Gun.

Joe: Sewage! Let's roll.
Tom: Damn! How does sewage always get the hottest interns?

Joe, you work in sewage. Your department literally specializes in crap. You really want to do this?

Leslie
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 26 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 9 Quotes

We really need better security here. We also need better, less offensive history.

Leslie

The mural that normally resides here is called The Spirit of Pawnee, and it's very controversial. We've had someone throw acid at it, tomato sauce. Someone tried to stab it once.

Leslie
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