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Parks-and-recreation

Leslie: Oh my god I'm so hungover. I've never been this hungover.
Ben: I feel great. I ran 5K this morning.
Leslie: Really?
Ben: No, I threw up in the shower.

Ann: Also, I can talk about my qualifications for this position, but first I am gonna go throw up in a waste basket.

Leslie: Would you mind if I joined you?

Ann: Not at all.

Ron: Is this everybody?

Donna: Ann took a cab. Tom's in the trunk. Jerry's on the roof.

Leslie: John Ralphio!

John: Yes, I'm here.

Leslie: Dance up on me.

And let's be honest, it would be nice to not have to pull strange things out of people's butts every night.

Leslie

Re-elect Jan Cooper, Mayor of Whorewille.

Chris

Chlamydia affects nearly 100% of Jan Coopers.

Chris

Jan Cooper will give you Chlamydia. Brought to you by the Pawnee Department of Public Health.

Chris

I won't publicly endorse a product unless I use it exclusively and I really believe in it. My only official recommendations are US Army issued mustache trimmers, Morton's Salt, and the C.R. Lawrence fine two inch style oscillating knife blade.

Ron
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