Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation "The Possum" Quotes (Page 2)

Leslie: Andy, you remember Shauna Malwae-Tweep from the Pawnee Journal?
Andy: How could I forget? You wrote the article when I fell in the pit and then afterwards had sex with Mark and everyone talked about it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: By day. Andy Dwyer, shoeshinist. By different time of day, Andy Radical, possum tackler. And by night? Do whatever I want, no job.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: How long do you think it will take me to learn golf, Leslie?
Leslie: I could teach you. I have a 16 handicap. But, you know, it takes a lot of practice. You have to get up early, hit the range, practice reading greens.
Tom: Yeah I don't want to do all that. I'd say I just want some of those dope pants.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: Those dates are arbitrary. They're like those expiration dates that the government forces companies to put on yogurt and medicine.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mark: You've got hazardous chemicals over here.
Ron: Yeah, which only I am breathing. It's the same liberty that gives me the right to fart in my own car. Are you going to tell a man that he can't fart in his own car?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mark: Ron, none of this is up to code.
Ron: Sure it is. It's up to the Swanson code.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: Hey, Mark. Welcome to my haven. You're the first non-me to set foot in this building in ten years.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Tom: I used to love Tiger Woods because he was a great champion. But after that sex scandal? The man is a god.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

April: Andy recently diagnosed himself with what he calls Shoeshine Head. It's when you shine too many shoes and the fumes create a thunderstorm in your brain. Cures include coffee, cheeseburgers and napping on the floor.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Ron will show you around.
Ron: Um, right this way is the exit.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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