Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation "Tom's Divorce" Quotes (Page 3)

Andy: Step two. Lose to your opponent intentionally so they gain confidence. Step two has been completed. Easily. Very easily, Mark is pretty good at pool.
 • Rating: Unrated

Donna: I love you, Tom. You're my lil' prince. Just want to put you in a little cape and a little hat and just fly you around.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: I really wish I could have your body.
Tom: What?
April: Eww, like tied up naked in your basement?
Jerry: No, no I mean you're in good shape and you can eat whatever you want.
Leslie: That was weird, Jerry.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: No, I just figured because, uh, pool's all about angles and he's a failed architect that he might want to play pool.
Mark: Let's do it.
Ann: Really? That worked?
 • Rating: Unrated

Waiter: How do you want that cooked?
Leslie: Medium roar.
Waiter: Medium rare?
Leslie: No. Medium roar.
Waiter: For legal reasons we're not allowed to make puns about the temperature of the meats anymore.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: Oh, uh, also, Mark. Again, we don't have those extra small condoms you ordered. I called the factory, i''s going to take a special order. Not just because of the size, but because of the weird shape as well. Something they've never dealt with before.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Hey, Mark. The shoe shine stand still doesn't have that syphilis medication you were asking about.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: This seems like none of our business.
Leslie: Be supportive, OK? Don't be all like, "No. I don't want to. I am a guy and I like fire, and playing hockey and eating meat. No, no says I."
April: That was a really good Ron.
Leslie: Thank you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: That is the problem. Tom always seems like "Mr. Slick Too Cool Guy," but he's actually hiding his emotions underneath a very thick layer of Axe body spray.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: I did a little research, and divorce is the number two most stressful event in a person's life. Of course marriage is number seven. So, watch out everyone. It's all bad.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

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