Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Quotes (Page 10)

Season 5 Episode 4: "Sex Education"

Tom: [via Tweet] Just hit a fire hydrant, but I survived. #Unbreakable #WhatsMrGlassuptothesedays #whynosequel?
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: I don't want to put words in your mouth, but case dismissed.
Lawyer: And you were texting at the time, correct?
Tom: How dare you sir? I was tweeting!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 3: "How a Bill Becomes a Law"

Chris: What did you do for her?
Ron: Fixed her pothole.
Chris: Is that a euphemism?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Take the easy way out. I always do! It's easy!
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Can we please make you into a princess?
Ron: No.
Andy: I think it would make Diane happy.
Ron: Why does that matter? Shut up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: Mmm. You can really taste the ignorance.
Councilman Milton: It's pronounced 'anchovies'.
 • Rating: Unrated

Little girl 1: I'm a princess.
Little girl 2: I'm a mermaid.
Ron: I'm the director of Parks and Recreation.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Ann has told me repeatedly not to get a perm. But Ann's not here. While Ann's away, the mice get perms.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: Well, DDS doesn't stand for Dumb Dumb Stupid.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

April: Are you busy? And writing Star Trek fan fiction doesn't count.
Ben: Haha. And I finished that last week.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Not only am I a city counselor, but I'm a city councilor with porpoise.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: I love this idea and I love me for thinking of it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Councilman Jam: I'm gonna drop my liquids in here and drop my solids down the hall.
Leslie: Ew, no.
Councilman Jam: Okay. Your loss.
Leslie: How?
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: I am big enough to admit I am often inspired by myself.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 2: "Soda Tax"

Ron: Take this compass. All great adventurers need one.
Leslie: As far as all this firing stuff goes...I will not forget and I will never forgive you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Wow, sounds like you're going some tough stuff right now. Too bad there's not doctors for your mind.
 • Rating: Unrated

Townsperson: I think we should tax all bad thing. Like racism and women's vaginas.
Ann: We're not taxing any genitals.
Townsperson: Then what are we doing here? Come on, boys.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kathryn: The 'zero' refers to the amount of water in Water Zero. If you want less calories, try Diet Water Zero Lite. It only has 60 calories.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I'll never be a cop! I'll have to be a robber...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: Number one is being able to run 2 miles in under 25 minutes. That's a typo right? That's not humanly possible.
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "Parks and Recreation" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!