Tammy does not abide by the Geneva Convention.

Ron

Leslie: Have you ever seen Monster's Inc?
Ron: No.
Leslie: Damn it Ron! Engage in the culture once.

I'm better now! I mean sure I'm depressed, and I'm constantly sick, and nothing really brings me joy, but it just feels right!

Councilman Jamm

April: My insides are dying.
Ben: So, not fine?

Andy: Head coach of the Chicago Bulls.
Tom: No he's uhh, we're with a non profit -
Andy: What!? No! Am I? That sucks.

Chicagooooo! The big apple!

Andy

It's like rescuing a bunny from a lion! But that lion is a demonic sociopath - with really nice cleavage.

Leslie

The snooker has become the snort!

Leslie

Andy: We. Are going. To Chicago!
Tom: Andy, think about what you're saying right now? Because it's the smartest idea anyone's ever had! Let's go!

Councilman Jamm: You know who else had plans?
Leslie: Oh please don't say Hitler.
Councilman Jamm: Hitler!

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Aw are you bummed Tom? I have a quick fix for that - let's get hammered. Everything is free here.

Andy

I love her SO much. I hope she's my real mom.

April

Parks & Rec Quotes

April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.

Andy

Last week I was in clue in the Pawnee paper crossword puzzle. The clue? "Who's the worst?"

Leslie